How to survive the World

(This article was written by me out of boredom 3 years ago, I tried to include it into our schools newsletter but failed because it was deemed inappropriate for students to read even as an entertainment feature. Feel free to read this trash article 😂😉 and please comment your opinions at the comment section. Your feedbacks will help me in my development as a writer.  It was my first attempt to create a funny essay but it miserably failed 😂😂😂. Now I'm gonna share it to the world and let you decide whether it's worthy of praise or must be deleted forever.)

This world is ultimately designed to depress us, no matter what kind of lies you say or you believe to soothe your troubled soul, that fact is still undeniable. The world itself is the sole reason why lots of people wanted to end their meaningless lives. This world is full of things that are evil in nature, but it is also a home for great and magnificient things like money, food, cars, sexy ladies and boobs. Those are the things that makes this depressing world great even amidst tremendous hardships. In this world full of stupid people and a handful individuals who are bright enough to be considered genius, surviving is a hard thing to do. 

The world consists of 7 billion people jostling for space on this dying planet, it has over 150+ countries who are constantly at war with each other and 7 massive continents with resources nearly depleted. Darwin's  Survival of the fittest-elimination of the weakest is still put into action even after many centuries later. So Consider this world as your battleground and take time to read this article which will serve as your guide on steering into this vast sea of uncertainty.

Study the Art of not giving a single fucc

There are over 100 million individual in this country alone (Philippines), 100 million eyes that will judge you at a split second. You must consider the fact that a different version of you exists in the mind of each people you meet. The you (pertaining to the self) that you believe is different from the you that exists in the minds of your family and friends. You are a completely different person for your father, your mother and even your siblings, even the people you just met in public bathrooms or the people who sat beside you in public vehicles they all have a different version of you inside their heads.

What is my point?

The point is that different perceptions of you exists in other people's mind. Even if you are a kind and gracious being in this world you are still a bad guy in someone's story. You must not be affected by other people's judgement unto you,  just ignore all negative things and keep leaving all insecurities behind. In order to sail smoothly in this ocean of wholesome fuckery you must train yourself to never mind those people who keep on demonizing you, remember that dogs bark when they do not know the person. It is the nature of some humans to envy the people who they think are superior to them, if that's your case then be happy, let your enemies die of envy.

Image source: https://www.wikihow.com/Deal-With-Gossip?amp=1

Earn shit tons of money

Let us not forget the fact that we are forced to live in this society where a piece of arbitrary paper is required in order to survive and live. If you are hungry you need money to eat, if you want to marry in order to fulfill your evolutionary role of reproduction you need money to do so. If you want to end your marriage because your partner sucks in bed, well I have a bad news for you, You actually need to waste a lot of money to pay your lawyer. 

Everything is attainable when you have money because everything demands money. You need money in exchange for basic needs, if you want that boobsie in the pub for a single night, you gotta at least pay in cash!, hell! there's no free nowadays!. 

"Money can't buy happiness! You can only find happiness in love  ", said by some impractical individuals who wanted to escape from the harsh reality of life. Well that is half true BECAUSE MONEY IS HAPPINESS ITSELF!!. Can love buy a Ferrari? Can it feed your grumbling stomach?. My friend was once asked by his pregnant girlfriend's father if he have any job. The only thing he said was " I don't have any but I love your daughter and I will do everything for her! ". All he got was right hook straight to the face that knocked the fuck out of him.

Always remember lads, we live in a 

capitalistic society where everything revolves around money. Your level of happiness always depends on how much money you have in your pocket. Humans nowadays are valued with what they have rather than what comes from them, don't ever forget that, you may not agree with me today but I'll assure someday you'll realize that I'm correct. So how do you have a lot of money? Work hard young lad, earn or put up a business because money is essential for survival.

Be friendly and build connections

You must remain calm and friendly if you don't want other people to smack you in the ground. Humans nowadays have a hard time getting along with each other, having a single trustworthy friend in this world is better than having thousands of companions. Respect is the key to earn friends and not enemies, even if some random fuck hates you, you should still show a little bit of respect and atleast try to befriend them. That is very important because there's a huge possibility that you'll earn new friends and prevent getting murdered at the same time.

Talk with people too, because life incudes building connections which is very essential for survival. It is essential for a human like us to be in the best circle. How do you find this best circle? As I mentioned earlier be friendly and treat people with respect. Respect other people's ideals, dreams, passion, religion and race and you'll earn their respect too.

Be confident

Believe in yourself and be confident in whatever decision you make because it's your life anyway, and if you die it's your own fault you have no one else to blame but yourself. Follow your heart but use your brain too. Don't get too excited about something, always be patient. Think twice or thrice about your decisions before putting it into action. Remember that every corpse you find all the way to the bottom up to the Mt. Everest's summit is once an extremely motivated person. What is the moral lesson? Again as I mentioned earlier think twice and thrice about any decision or else you will die.

Suicide is a big no

What's the point of surviving if you'll kill yourself?. Don't resort to suicide lads remember this, if your presence doesn't make an impact your absence won't make a difference. Don't end your life because your depressed over something, be strong buddy because you need to outlive your enemies. Killing yourself is not a bright idea to escape reality, it is a cowardly one, if life pounds you a lot you gotta at least put up a good fight!!. Live longer than your enemies and laugh at their funerals. 

If you want a scapegoat for depression I'll recommend you to eat. Eat and you'll feel better, find something that will divert your attention from the struggles of life. It seems useless but it actually works.

Live with the reality, expect the worst

The word will not treat you better just because you are a good person, always remember that and be used to it. This world is all about power and connection, but if all people already stripped away your dignity and crushed your morale remain the better person you used to be. Be knowledgeable about the processes and system of the world, accept it's horrid reality. In that way you'll be able to prepare yourself from the illfated things brought by this world we live in.

Breathe sometimes

Don't pressure yourself too much, leave tommorows problem to tommorows you, it is essential for your survival. Clear your mind once and enjoy life despite all those schedules and deadlines. If you have the chance to enjoy go and grab it like the way you grab your partners boobs. Be emotionally strong through positive mind setting, worry less and live fully. If you are about to die due to choosing happiness over schedules, then be bless for you will go straight to hell laughing.

Don't forget to love

Even if love itself is sometimes exhausting continue to keep loving. Love yourself, love other people, love your family, love your passion and love your life. It may not be able to buy you a Ferrari but it can give you comfort. It can offer you something different, a sensation that all men want and dying to have, I'm sorry to disappoint you but it ain't pussy, it's the warmth of being loved, the comfort of having someone in your side, the happiness when you pursue something you want. Though the happiness that love brings is nothing compared to what money gives, love itself is the greatest thing in the world, it is the only thing that doesn't hurt, what really hurts is the pain of rejection and loneliness. Love is a strong driving force for survival, learn to love a lot.

This world is extremely depressing, finding happiness and surviving is hard as hell. This world will always be a hard place for us to live, it's a jungle filled with monsters and animals of different variety, you cannot choose your own level of difficulty but you can choose how you will play this game. The world is our predator and we are the prey, so you need to be stronger in order to muster enough courage to face the bitterness of this world

Written by: Zeus R. Gongob (17 years old)

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